Every video game is bound by the mechanics it is built-in with. In the case of the Hitman series, the games conform to a bunch of logical mishaps that are considered second nature by the characters within them. These would seem ridiculous to anyone if real-world common sense were applied, but are useful to pass the game’s missions.
Still, it doesn’t make these things any less funny, and fans love to have a good laugh at the blatant flaws that can be found. Of course, it wouldn’t be Hitman if these things didn’t come into play, which makes these 10 memes simultaneously hilarious and understandable.
10 Foolproof Logic
Agent 47 is easily one of the best and complex anti-heroes ever seen in video gaming. However, if fans had their way, they’d easily make him an outright villain due to the temptation of going on a killing spree being too high.
The logic here is surprisingly appropriate, seeing as many fans tend to straight-up exterminate every character in a level rather than go about with the whole stealth thing. Then again, if this practice was canonical, it would make 47 the worst hitman of all time.
9 A Man Of All Sizes
Killing female non-playable characters will do absolutely no good for players, but taking out males is a different matter. For some reason, it doesn’t matter which guy 47 knocks out or kills, their clothing will always fit him.
Despite 47’s height being listed as a pretty tall six foot two inches, he can take on the outfit of any man he wants to. Even weirder is how he’s clearly taller than a lot of people whose clothes he takes, making this meme very accurate since it makes him a unique product of sorts.
8 They Didn’t Teach That In Assassin School
Even with all the skills he has in his possession, Agent 47 doesn’t seem to know what jumping is. He’s been able to leap around certain points, but an actual jump keeps eluding him. This failure in logic is striking considering there are loads of times jumping would have been useful during escapes.
And yet, the guy who’s supposed to be the greatest assassin ever seems to be too lazy to learn how to do a simple jump. Maybe he decided to skip training the day they taught that in spy school.
7 Let’s Be As Loud And Obvious As Possible
The ICA provides 47 with a large number of nifty tools that he’s supposed to use to remain completely discreet. However, whenever attempting to take someone down face-to-face, he is extra loud in his execution.
This almost always triggers nearby characters’ attention, making frontal takedowns pretty useless. Due to some internal logic, 47 doesn’t consider simply putting his hand on someone’s mouth and grappling them down. Instead, he opts to beat them up so loudly you’d think the other person had dared to talk about Fight Club.
6 Some Strange Double Standards
There have been a number of weapons that have been both good and bad over the series, yet it’s the silliest ones that get someone into trouble. Based on what appearance one has 47 donned with, he can get away with holding a deadly ballistic, but can’t be seen with stuff like fire pokers.
That’s not even a joke, seeing as characters literally start shooting at 47 when they see him with items like lead pipes or pokers. You’d think he’d at least get the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn’t take two seconds before everyone tries to kill him for picking up something that isn’t remotely threatening.
5 What Was That For?
One of the things fans want to see in the next game in the series is a level of consistency in this regard. After all, it makes zero sense for NPCs to shoot 47 for doing the same thing everyone else is.
In the games, one can get away with wearing the same outfit as others, but emulating their attacks is a big no-no. Despite doing exactly what everyone else is, they’ll turn on 47 in an instant and start trying to kill him.
4 Back To Square One It Is
It’s for good reason that the Hitman games are among the longest-running titles in terms of minutes played. The series presents level designs in such a way that even the slightest hitch in plans means that one has to start over.
In-universe, though, applying this logic would make 47 out to be a rather incompetent hitman, seeing as he should be able to think on his feet. That doesn’t matter to players, though, who tend to start over even with the tiniest change of course.
3 The Flaw In Dexter’s Plan
Hitman: Absolution suffers from the biggest case of flawed logic in the series, owing to the grindhouse-themed style of the story. Here, the antagonist Blake Dexter set off the entire game’s events for $10 million, which is hardly enough for someone who was said to be a hundred millionaire.
Considering the fact that he went so far as to blackmail an agency whose base of operations was to harbor the deadliest assassins on the planet, Dexter really didn’t think things through, did he?
2 47 Can’t Bother Learning Languages
The detailed designs and creative thinking required to finish the game makes Hitman deserve its rank among the best stealth franchises. However, the developers seem to have fashioned an internal logic in this universe where everyone seems to exclusively speak English.
It doesn’t matter if one were to go to Japan, Italy, or India, you can be sure that everyone around 47 is going to be speaking his language. On the occasions where people do speak their native tongue, they’ll still be talking to 47 - who’s supposed to be pretending to be a local citizen - in English.
1 Well, That Was Easy
Another glaring criticism of Hitman: Absolution was that it didn’t build on the unique level designs that the series is known for. Instead, the game was extremely linear, to the point where repeating the same moves were enough to get by.
One of these is displayed in this meme, where all 47 has to do is look down while crossing people who should recognize him for a fraud. Despite it being clear he’s an impostor, these characters let it slide simply because 47 passed by without looking up. Who knew stealth could be this easy?
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